Just breathe.. You’ve got this, The amount of times I have heard this… Although it’s true, it' doesn’t make it help or ease the anxiety. Mental health issues? Check! Got em’! You need some anxiety? I got you covered.

For those of you who don’t have the burden to bear, anxiety is like having a pit in your stomach you feel that the most awful thing is going to happen, even though everything is okay, it doesn’t matter. It takes ahold of you and there is no letting go. You feel this crippling fear inside your entire body. Cue the xanax!

My psychologist explained how anxiety works in the brain, it helps me a little when I am having a panic attack to try and calm the part of my brain known as the amygdula, it is the primitive part of your brain that will turn on during flight or fight. Super annoying, super real. My amygdula basically sucks at working or better, knowing when to work. Thanks childhood trauma? I am not sure if I can blame it on that, regardless, my brain works too much sometimes.

If you have ever had an anxiety attack you know that it feels like a heart attack, you can’t find your breath, it all closes in but it’s not a heart attack. Just a mental health issue. It’s a long road, but one that you don’t have to take alone.

Is that why you are here??? hm… I knew you were here for a reason!

Mindfulness is what has worked for me, tremendously. If you choose to do the same, I recommend getting a journal, I got my first one and it’s been history since. If I manage to do all of my daily self-care tasks, I usually feel pretty great.

So how exactly do you practice mindfulness??

I started waking up EARLY, 5:30 am. Sorry all of my night owls. I too consider myself a night owl, not by chance but because of my crippling fear when I try to doze off… is something bad going to happen?? Let me resolve all of 25281122188779.999999 ways of how I am going to fix or solve this problem, then give me another one. I got this. Thanks amygdula! You the MVP.

In all seriousness, I woke up early, worked out, ate breakfast, journaled, went to work, made sure to eat a good lunch and dinner after work. I cut out caffeine and alcohol. I was SO ENERGETIC, and happy, truly.

I began a journey, blindly, and it became a part of who I am. Every thread of me was starting to become anew and each step I took was falling in positivity and growth. Mental and physical. Each thread of my past was being tightly woven into me and it became crystal clear….

I learned how to manage it, in a way that works for me.

It is important to accept these things, understand mental health for what is. If you can grow from it, why would you not accept it?

Anxiety is not WHO you are, it is just interwoven in your threads, and you can choose to see it as a burden or see it as a golden silk thread that you didn’t request but it is there nonetheless… (totally did not mean to rhyme but happy that happened…) woven into your life with no cause.

It is okay, to not be okay friends…

All my love,

Olivia